I became a Christian in 1978 just at the point where Televangelists were really getting started. In fact, I became a Christian by watching a TV Show called, "100 Huntley Street". It was in the format of a Christian talk show. They would have guests and singers and they would all talk about Jesus and how wonderful their life had become since they "found" Jesus.
Actually during the 1980's almost every Christian who was spreading their faith (including me) was telling people that their problems would be solved if they gave their life to Jesus. There was just one hitch about that. Your problems are not all solved when you decided to follow Jesus. In fact, you actually get MORE problems by following Jesus.
It took me a lot of years to reconcile that. I figured that if I had problems and I wasn't happy all the time, then obviously I was a bad Christian. Or at the very least, doing something wrong. I mean, it couldn't be that God wasn't enough, so the fault had to be mine. Right?
In the early 1980's I was attending a small church. In fact, it was so small I was always introduced as , "This is Laura-Lee. She's our youth group."
Yup. I was the only teenager. The entire youth group.
At this little church, we would have two services every Sunday. One in the morning and a completely different one on Sunday night. At the night time service there were fewer people and it was much more laid back and casual, but, OH did I learn things in that service.
We did a bunch of singing and clapping and worshipping. We had a great sermon (that wasn't too long) and we were all happy little Christians in our happy little church.
Then the Pastor decided to allow anyone who wanted to give a "Praise Testimony" to speak up.
A "Praise Testimony" is basically where you stand up and tell about something wonderful God has done for you. You start by telling some problem you have and then you tell how Jesus solved that problem for you. And how happy you are now that Jesus has helped you.
In that service a person would stand and say something nice about Jesus and then sit down again. Then we'd wait and a couple minutes later someone else would think of something else to say. And so it went on for about 30 minutes. Since we were a small church and not many people were there, it seemed it wouldn't go on much longer.
Just as our Pastor was going to take a breath and wind things up, one young man suddenly stood up.
We all looked at him with anticipation. I knew him well. He was a young, married man with a brand new baby. He was a kind and gentle person and his faith in Jesus was deep and sincere. So I figured he'd have a good "Praise Testimony". But he just continued to stand there, while we continued to stare at him. Suddenly things started getting uncomfortable because he wasn't saying anything. Nothing. He just kept standing there.
Everyone in the congregation started looking at each other and then we were looking at the Pastor, and still that guy just stood there.
Then, in that absolute and tense silence, he blurted out in his gentle voice,
" I don't have a 'praise testimony'. I'm miserable. Everything is far from okay and I just can't pretend anymore that everything is alright when everything isn't alright."
Then he sat down and wiped some tears from his eyes.
Now, before he said anything, when we were just waiting, you could have heard a pin drop. But this was even more quiet than that.
To say the least, we were a bit stunned and since none of us knew what to do or say, we turned our attention back to the Pastor. I remember thinking about our Pastor, "I bet he wished he had stayed home tonight."
But our Pastor quietly said, "Okay. Let's talk about that."
The remainder of that service was very different. With that one statement a flood of confessions and tears came. We all started talking about the bad things happening in our lives and the deep loneliness of having to face so much trouble, but act like everything is wonderful. Somehow we had all gotten the same idea: if we weren't excited and happy ALL THE TIME, then we were doing something wrong.
I feel sorry for the people who weren't at that evening service. We were there deep into the night, even though we all had to be at work and school the next day. We opened our hearts to each other and, as for me, I began to approach the Lord in a new way.
When I went to the Bible for guidance, I found I was reading it with new eyes. And probably with a new heart. Because you can never really get any help until you admit and face the problem. And that's the gift that young man gave us. He may have felt like a fool or a "bad" Christian for speaking that way, but his moment of truth changed a lot of us that night. On individual levels and as a church. A Christian church is a family. And families don't just share the joys, they share the sorrows too. Or they aren't a family. They're just a club.
I discovered in the Bible so many times that Jesus was tired and hurt and discouraged and betrayed and lonely and without a home.
" 'Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.' " Matthew 8:20
He knew most of all that to follow his Father meant he would face massive heartache. Not to mention being imprisoned, beaten, whipped and killed.
Then there is the example of the apostle Paul, who spent most of his life in prison for being a Christian. Not to mention flogged, stoned and beaten several times.
And Stephen who was killed by having a mob stone him to death. And John who ended his life spending years isolated on the barren Island Prison of Patmos.
I'll let the Bible continue this:
" And what more shall I say? ... Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned, they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated - the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and in holes in the ground. "
HEBREWS 11:32-38
And what about all the people who lived their lives after the Bible was finished being written. Those who were fed to lions in the Coliseum. Some skinned alive. Some burned alive. Some raped. Some murdered.
And do not kid yourself, all those things that the early Christians faced is still going on today. People who live in literal garbage dumps. People who become Christians and have their entire family disown them forever. They lose their jobs, their homes, their freedom and sometimes their lives. NOT because they were doing something wrong, but because they were doing something very right.
All because they were (and are) following Jesus.
Following Jesus is not easy. Jesus said:
" All men will hate you because of me, " - Matthew 10:22
So then why do it? Why do I do it?
Because knowing Jesus is that great. That wonderful. So wonderful that whatever you have to give up is more than worth the greatness of having an intimate and growing relationship with Jesus. And through Jesus to my Heavenly Father. He always comes when I'm in trouble and the more trouble I'm in the more he shows himself to me.
You see, this isn't a philosophy Christians are pushing, it is a person we are introducing. He knows all the pain you're going through, all the troubles and terrors you face. All the sins you've committed. And He still loves you. He created you. He died for you. He waits for you. He wants your heart to be his home. Your life to be something wonderful. An adventure, not an endurance test. And once he makes his home in you, he will never leave or abandon you.
Problems will come and bombard you through your entire life whether you are a Christian or not. But there is a day coming when Jesus will make "all things new." For now, he wants to make you new.
And for me ... he still lives inside me. His voice grows louder and clearer every day, his deliverance grows more amazing and his comfort more encompassing with each thing I suffer through. And the greater my sins, the greater his forgiveness. His mercies are new to me every morning because of his great faithfulness. And I never have to pretend or play a part again. I am what I appear. I hurt. I'm wrong. I'm sinful. I'm worried. I'm mixed up. I'm weak. I cry. I cry some more. But Jesus remains. My constant companion. Saviour. Creator. Provider. Promise keeper. Lover of my soul. My Hope. And my Grave Robber. Because some day in my flesh I will see God. Following Jesus is absolutely worth it.
I can blab on for ever and a day, but it comes down to one thing: I love him. I know it's because he first loved me, but whatever comes we will face together.
And there are millions of people around the world, right now, who feel the same.
It's still the greatest story ever told. Because it's a true one ... and it's available to everyone.
What will you do with what you now know?
The only thing you are really in control of is your choices. So make them good ones.
Love Laura-Lee (who was here for just a moment, but will be with Jesus forever)
