I'm reminded of a day in 2019 when I was in the hospital working my way back from being paralyzed from the neck down. I had to learn how to walk again and I was standing up and gripping my walker so hard the veins in my hands were huge and blue. My arms were shaking so badly from the exertion that the whole walker was rattling. The sweat was running down my face so much it was actually dripping off the end of my nose. All because I was attempting the gargantuan task of trying to slide my right foot forward. But even with all that effort, my progress that day was substantially less than the two previous days.
Later, in my bed, two nurses were just finishing up giving me a bed bath. I had just been put into a clean diaper and fresh hospital "gown" and one nurse was putting pillows around my legs, so they wouldn't fall out of bed, and the other nurse was lifting up my head and putting a rolled up towel around my neck so my head wouldn't loll over to the side.
I was being uncommonly quiet and it was obvious I was discouraged. One of the nurses said to me,
"Don't feel bad, Laura-Lee. Sometimes in life it's 'Three steps forward and two steps back.'"
"NO!" I blurted out.
Then with a steely, determined voice I said,
"Not in my book. You see, I'm a Christian and I follow Jesus. I might be slow as molasses on a winter's day and I might fall down a lot, but I never … take … a step … back."
That night in my bed I was reminded of two things Mom said to me.
When I was a very little girl I was extremely afraid of people so going to the grocery store with Mom was something I dreaded. But just before we would enter the store she would get a good grip on my hand and say,
"Don't be afraid, Laura-Lee. As long as I'm holding your hand you'll be okay and you'll never get lost."
Then later, when I was a teenager, and Mom and I were both Christians, I remember getting very upset because I had "messed up again".
She said to me,
"I know you get frustrated with yourself sometimes, Laura-Lee, but just keep moving forward and you'll be okay. It doesn't matter how fast we finish our 'Race' just that we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Even our faltering, feeble baby-steps will get us to the finish line."
As I sit here and write this now, I'm reminded of a something I heard in a sermon long ago..
"When you reach the end of your rope, make a knot and HANG ON! Jesus will pull you through."
The Truth, with Love,
Always Laura-Lee
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
(Hebrews 12:1-13)
