...in my opinion.
I told you no topic is safe from me! I've answered this question to people who ask person to person, but now with all the fluid gender issues and anti-Christian sentiment I'm going to answer it publicly. Keep in mind I've been fine-tuning this since I was ten years old so you are going to get the core stuff based on what I've seen with my own eyes for the forty-five years since then. (Oops! Outed my age on the internet again.)
* A man who sees a shortage in his home and takes a moment to write it on a list. A man came out of the bathroom, apparently having passed the laundry room on the way and wrote on the grocery list on the fridge, "Toilet Paper and Dryer Sheets".
* A man came into the kitchen and kissed his wife all over her neck while his kids were watching and commenting, "Gee, Dad, give it a rest!"
His response, "I can't help it son, your mother is a seriously beautiful woman and she just wrecks me!"
*A man ON HIS KNEES in prayer to Almighty God with a Bible open before him. (Preferably wearing a sweater with the sleeves rolled up to reveal forearms like Ernest Borgnine).
This one is my most controversial. However, when you consider that a woman is Biblically required to submit to her husband the facts that he seeks out the Lord (daily) and will acknowledge, humble and yield himself to Someone greater than himself makes THIS one CRUCIAL!!!!
(The Ernest Borgnine thing is just for my personal sensibilities. That man has FABULOUS forearms. Anyone who has watched The Poseidon Adventure knows that!)
* A good great sense of humor. I know everyone says that but I really MEAN it. SO many times in life it has been my sense of humor that got me through some very dark times. I need to know when there is NOTHING funny going on and I shoot out some ridiculous comment he's going to be on board with that.
Also, I have lots of "in jokes" between me and the Lord (as we all have with those we know intimately) and if a man doesn't have the same thing going on then I would question how close he actually is to Jesus.
* Seeing him treat his mother and sisters with kindness, thoughtfulness, and respect.
*He loves and wants kids. LOTS of kids. I grew up extremely poor so I can stretch a budget when there is NO budget to stretch. So the excuse of "we can't have more kids because we can't afford them" won't cut it with me. I come from a big, Catholic family. I have no recollection of the first time I held a baby because my arms were utilized the moment they were strong enough for the task. There was among the woman of my family the phrase "one on the hip and one in the tummy" to describe what was going on. It got chaotic sometimes but not often because homes were orderly, mothers were in control, older children watched over the younger ones and children (EACH AND EVERY ONE) were viewed as individual blessings (even when their behaviour made them disguised blessings). I think men actually want more children than they ever let on but don't say anything because women control their wombs and men are generally afraid of women these days.
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* Able to admit he's wrong and apologize! I think this is self-explanatory.
* A man who is punctual. Or even better, shows up ahead of time. If I had a dime for every minute I had to stand and wait for a man to show up I would be a very rich woman! I saw an interview with Sean Connery years ago and he was going on and on about how he HATED people who didn't show up on time. He said it spoke directly to how much they valued the person they were meeting. He said that he always did all he could to show up on time. He'd leave early to make allowances for "life", like heavy traffic or something like that. I used to stand on a dark, dangerous, cold street corner for an hour (before cell phones) thinking, "If SEAN CONNERY can show up on time why can't (___)?!"
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| LISTEN TO SEAN. HE KNOWS STUFF. |
* SELF-DISCIPLINE! No. I am not kidding. Because of my childhood home environment I grew up believing no man can restrain himself sexually. Throughout my life whenever I came across a "family man" who cheated on his wife (and ultimately his children too) my first response was, "That figures! He's wearing pants ain't he?!" I need to know I've got a man who can restrain and control his passions, EVEN AGAINST ME! As a single Christian there are times I've had weak moments too, but if I know the moment they come he will just give in too, then the restraint is all on me and I've just become the "mommy" in the relationship. It also means he won't give into another woman, he's willing to wait for me AND he won't take any guff from me either. Ultimately that he values me more than "he wants what he wants and he wants it NOW"! (my definition of lust).
This last one feeds into ...
The Things I find gross about men.
👎🏻 In a word: Hen-pecked. 🐔🤮 I was listening to a group of men discuss their wives and one guy was talking about how his wife had "laid down the law to him."
Then he asked the question, "And how did I respond, gentlemen?"
And they all responded in unison, "Yes, dear!"
It was supposed to be funny. They all laughed. But I stood there disgusted at both them AND their wives. G-R-O-S-S! I want a man to "wear the pants" and I want him to chose those pants FOR HIMSELF. I don't want a man to spend time "getting in touch with his feminine-side." I've got enough feminine side for two women. 😉 I want a man to take responsibility for his actions, complete what he has started and express himself romantically however HE decides, NOT the way I (or anyone else in society thinks he should). This feeds into the next gross thing.
👎🏻 I want a man who never, I repeat never, caves into peer-pressure. Or as it is called today, "The Common Narrative". Let's see some men who will stand for what's RIGHT no matter the consequences. That's a man I can lean on when I am doing the same.
👎🏻 Physically speaking, I don't like a man with a bunch of rippling muscles. I particularly find a six-pack gross. I do NOT want to be able to picture what a man looks like WITH HIS SKIN OFF! 🙈I actually prefer a man with a gut on him. I see a man with a six-pack and immediately think, "I need to fatten him up a bit."
This directly speaks to me as a woman and a hostess in my home. If I cannot entice a man (or any visitor for that matter) to eat something I have failed in my hospitality. It was the same way with my mother and most of the women in her family. You might go over for a cup of coffee and decline any food, but the coffee would always come with "a little something extra" and I never saw anyone who didn't take it and leave the better for it. ☕🍞🍪🍲 (aren't enough or adequate emojis to express this!)
👎🏻 🧐A guy who checks out another woman who passes by. I don't care HOW PROMISCUOUSLY she is dressed. Even if she walks by buck-naked there are ways of looking and WAYS of looking.
CONCLUSION:
You may have noticed that in all this talk about the sexy qualities of a man I've never actually mentioned his abilities in bed yet. While now is the time.
I used to work for a Christian ministry revolving around families. At one point we were offering a book about sex written by "experts". They were a couple who had been married for many years, one was a psychologist and the other a medical doctor. I decided to order it to read (which got me some interesting reactions from my coworkers when it arrived on my desk from the fulfillment department. 😆)
Anyway, I read it and became particularly interested in the chapter on how to spice up your sex life. It involved taking bubble baths together, the use of multiple feathers and the story of a man who got naked, tied a red bow on his penis, came leaping out of the bathroom, jumped up on the bed yelling the Bible verse, "Turn to me, dear lover. Come like a gazelle. Leap like a wild stag on delectable mountains!" (Song of Solomon 2:17) No. I'm not joking. I wish I was. That mental image has completely destroyed that verse for me! 😱😣 I shut the book at that point and realized that in my singleness, virginity and at only 24 years of age, I knew way more than they did. In the entire book they never once spoke about the relationship between the husband and wife or their relationship to God. So here is the truth about sex direct from God himself.
❤ There is only one place it is permitted: in a marriage between one man and one woman for a lifetime.
💖 If you cannot invite God into the midst of your sex life and even pray while you are having sex, you are doing it wrong!
💗 What goes on in bed for thirty minutes (or more), for good or bad, is DIRECTLY related to your commitment, beliefs, behavior, and actions towards each other the other twenty-three hours and thirty minutes of the day!
That's the "Truth in Love" that I have again spoken to you. Do with it as you will.
Thank you for coming to my Home Base here on the internet. You are always welcome.
Let's have some coffee with "a little something."
☕☕🍪🍪🍪🍪
Love always, Laura-Lee
"Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover - come to me! Come, my shy and modest dove - leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing and your face is ravishing." (Song of Solomon 2:13-14) Parts of Song of Solomon not ruined for me. 😊
"Eros Defiled" by John White is STILL the best book about sex I've ever read (multiple times). Get a hard copy and get it FAST and any way you can because I guarantee it is going to be "disappeared" in this culture and climate before you can blink twice.
https://www.amazon.ca/Eros-Defiled-John-White/dp/0877847819
If you have found merit in what I've said please Share it, especially with young people under thirty who are struggling to find clarity in a culture that cannot even answer the question, "What is a man and what is a woman?"
Men need to know they are made by God and great just as they are but able to realize their huge potential. And women need to use their influence to accept, appreciate and affirm them that way.
"So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)
