Back Seat Morals

I think the term "Back Seat Morals" conjures up exactly what I want it to. People 'making out' in the back seat of a car. 

I have been very fortunate on two accounts: 
1) I have a lively imagination and 
2) A mother who raised me in such a fashion that I felt I could talk and ask her about anything. And often did. Even to the point of ridiculous sometimes.

By the time I was finishing up my teen years I had presented her with every scenario of, "What would you do if I ...?"

From "What would you do if I wanted to get married at 16 years old?" all the way to
 "What would you do if I wanted to marry a man who was in his 80's,  uh ...
on life support,  ... uh ... 
about to die, 
BUT he was single and  ... uh, still a virgin and, uh ... a Christian?  A Born Again Christian! "

Mom laughed and said, "I'd say 'He's mine. I saw him first' !"
 Yeah. I think that pretty much demonstrates that I was running out of  "What if ... ?" questions. (or was I?)

Back when it was time for me to learn about the "birds and the bees", Mom actually never once mentioned birds or bees. After she told me the basics, I looked at her pointedly and asked (with a slight amount of disgust), "And you and Dad did this?!"

She answered truthfully, "Yes we did. Twice. Once for your brother and once for you."

I was only 6 years old and she believed too young for "the talk", but I'd been hearing things wrong and she felt I needed to get the "basics" from her so that I wouldn't be messed up about sex for the rest of my life. But at that time and place, she was wise enough to know I was not ready to hear it all. 

But by the time I had to start dealing with my changing body, dating and how far I'd go sexually and my questions started surfacing, she was ready and available to help me in whatever way I needed. But by then she wanted me to figure things out for myself. She knew that forcing her beliefs on me would work only for a certain amount of time and only to a certain point. Eventually, if I didn't truly believe for myself what was right or wrong, then the moment I was out of her sight or believed I could "get away" with something ... I would. 

She encouraged two things:
1) I be honest with myself and 
2) to use that imagination of mine.

But God also gave me a very rare gift to help me in my "fight" against sin. The ability to learn from  OTHER peoples' mistakes.
 I don't have to experience something myself to discover it's a bad place to be. I see someone make a mistake, commit a sin and then see the evidence of how it turns out and the consequences they have to face. Sometimes horrible consequences.


The problem with sin is that it does not announce itself. It doesn't say, "Hi. I'm sin and I'm going to give you some momentary pleasure, lead you into a downward spiral and eventually completely destroy your life."

I was watching a film once with some other people about a woman who cheated on her husband and ended up losing her entire family. When I asked, "When did she commit adultery?"
The answer was "When she had sex with the other man."

Really? Or was it when she made plans to get together with the other man secretly?  Or when she started lying to her husband and children about where she was going? Or when she found herself preferring the company of the other man to her husband? Back and back we went. 

Once you learn how to spot the moment when sin first arrives (sometimes looking all sweet and innocent) you'd be surprised how much easier it is to recognize those moments the next time.
  
In the case of the movie we were watching, we finally came to the conclusion Sin arrived the moment the woman found herself alone with a man she was attracted to who was not her husband. At that point, the 'other man' hadn't even noticed her. And at that point she would have had the strength needed to resist the temptation to cheat on her husband.

When you're in the back seat of a car, your hormones are pulsing and you feel love (or at least lust) for the person you're with, that is not the moment to be making the best decisions that will effect the rest of your life. Or decide in general what is right and what is wrong. You'll probably rationalize what you are doing and very quickly. 
 "This isn't so bad. We're not hurting anyone. We care about each other. One of us may die tomorrow and we'll have missed out on this chance. Let's go for it."


So right now, take the time to figure out what you believe and why.  Where did you get your ethics and morals from? Is the method you use to measure right from wrong even accurate?  Imagine yourself in different circumstances and think about what could  happen. Ponder. Investigate. Scrutinize. Hold it up to the light. If it's wrong or lacking, change it. Then if you need to, change it again. And again, until you've boiled it down to it's core. That may be exactly what you need to give you the power to overcome it.

How many unwanted babies are killed, teenage lives ruined, people become hard core addicts, drunk drivers kill someone, marriages are destroyed,  rapes and murders committed,  dictators come to power (and on and on)  because people waited until sin had such a huge strangle hold on their lives, they didn't have the strength or even the desire to resist it. 

If we continue with the "Back Seat" metaphor for Sin ... 
I'm not just saying, "Don't get into the 'back seat'."
I'm not even saying, "Don't get into a car that has a 'back seat'. 
I'm saying, "Don't even go out with someone who OWNS A CAR!"

 And make sure you also know WHY. For yourself.

 We're going to return to this topic but thanks for listening. 

And, as always, feel free to leave a comment.

Love Laura-Lee